Official climate arbitration for one thermostat and two irreconcilable opinions about it.
Every shared office has a thermostat, and every thermostat has two camps: those who are fine, and those who are freezing (or sweating, depending on the week). Thermostat Standoff lets you drag your target temperature and watch the opposing camp's target mirror your move in perfect reverse, exactly as it does in real life.
The actual room temperature is fixed at 72°F at all times, regardless of either target. This is not a bug. This is every office thermostat that has ever existed.
The Workplace Harmony Index and Passive-Aggression Index are updated in real time based on how much you fiddle with the dial, independent of whether the room ever actually changes temperature, because it doesn't.
Facilities Management's sensor was last calibrated in a year we are not able to disclose. It has not required attention since, mainly because no one has looked at it.
Once Workplace Harmony reaches zero, Facilities Management considers the matter formally resolved and requisitions a sweater on your behalf. This decision is final.
No sweater has ever actually been delivered.
Appeals may be filed by dragging the slider again. The outcome will not be different.
Thermostat Standoff is provided for entertainment purposes only. No thermostat was harmed, adjusted, or actually connected to any HVAC system.